it's a song by hillsong united...and it's really good...
and i guess as i'm listenting to it now i'm thinking about all the stuff God does for us...
like there are so many people that God is changing and it is amazing...like it's sooooo coool to see people my age and younger stand up for Christ...and just hearing the testimonies from those people is amazing...
ok so now for the thing that's been on my heart lately...
it's the issue of swearing...i don't know why it's been placed on my heart...but it has been...so i'm gunna talk about it...
ok so i was thinking about the issue of swearing cause i read somthing and it got my mind running and then there are always people at work who swear and then apologize for it...
and that get's me stuck sometimes...cause i don't know whether to say "i forgive you" and make them feel like i'm judging them and i don't want to say "it's ok" cause i don't want them to feel like it really is ok....
but Sunday night Matt read from Ephesians
and i read Ephesians 4:29
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen."
basically this is the closest verse to "do not swear" in the Bible...but we can't just look at it as "don't cuss" cause it says more than that, it says "Do not let ANY UNWHOLESOME TALK COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTHS"....and that got me thinking...
who am i to say what words are "good" and what words are "bad"...for example...
i don't swear...or at least by normal people's standards...but there are words i don't say infront of small children or people i respect highly
words like "douche" or "fag" or "hoe" etc...so i guess in a way i'm no better than the people who say "bad four-letter words"....so i can't really call someone out on that
i mean i would look like an idiot if i said "don't say bad words, douche"...
so i guess i have alot to work on...even in areas that it doesn't seem like i'm struggling but that's the cool thing about God, He's making me more like Him and less like the carnal man that i am
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Fireworks on the 4th of July makin up the plans, up the plans that you made.
don't nobody care if there's no girl by your side, they're starin at the painted sky.
(the wedding lyrics)
so true...except it wasnt' the 4th of july today...but the point is
i had a great day today and yesterday...and i have had actually just a great time in general the past couple months
you see...about 3 months ago my dad got laid off from work...and they told him that he might not get his job back...and if that is the case...then i'll be moving somewhere far, far away...(possibly Texas or North Carolina)...and that was kinda sad...but i didn't really tell alot of ppl...and i'm glad i didn't...
it's really cool to hang out with people and know that they actually wanna hang out with you because of who you are...and it's amazing to know that if i do leave...then people will actually miss me lol...
but in all seriousness...i know i'll miss them too...and that's why i love days like today where i can hang out with my friends all day...
so yeah...i guess we find out Wednesday if i'm officially moving or not...
it's in God's hands too....that's what's cool about it...i know that whatever happens...
all things work together for the good of those who serve Him....(i don't know if i quoted that right)
but yeah...today was sweet...thanks guys
(the wedding lyrics)
so true...except it wasnt' the 4th of july today...but the point is
i had a great day today and yesterday...and i have had actually just a great time in general the past couple months
you see...about 3 months ago my dad got laid off from work...and they told him that he might not get his job back...and if that is the case...then i'll be moving somewhere far, far away...(possibly Texas or North Carolina)...and that was kinda sad...but i didn't really tell alot of ppl...and i'm glad i didn't...
it's really cool to hang out with people and know that they actually wanna hang out with you because of who you are...and it's amazing to know that if i do leave...then people will actually miss me lol...
but in all seriousness...i know i'll miss them too...and that's why i love days like today where i can hang out with my friends all day...
so yeah...i guess we find out Wednesday if i'm officially moving or not...
it's in God's hands too....that's what's cool about it...i know that whatever happens...
all things work together for the good of those who serve Him....(i don't know if i quoted that right)
but yeah...today was sweet...thanks guys
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Ok so, who doesn't own a cell phone...
i'll tell you who....Jake Black....cause he left his at my house...(and the title is also lyrics from a Relient k song in case you didn't catch that).
alrighty so
this one is just gunna be a little update, cause sometimes i look at blogs like photo albums...it's always cool to look back and see how ignorant, naive, selfish, stupid, prideful, and childish i was.
and that's cool because it helps me realize that there is always room for improvement, no matter who you are
and hopefully when i read this a year from now i will realize how ignorant, naive, selfish, stupid, prideful, and childish i really am.
ok so recap a couple weeks ago... in youth we had an acoustic worship service led by the Holy Spirit...but lets go back a week
alot was bothering me that past week, and when i say alot...i mean alot of people...i was thinking in my head "well so-and-so did this-and-that and that just caused a bunch of problems for what's-his-face" and i was getting so mad at so-and-so and so i prayed to God and God showed me something very important...
"Don't focus on the criminal, focus on the victim."
and basically this means i need to focus more on 'what's-his-face' than on 'so-and-so'..(i know it's kinda confusing...but i'm obviously not going to use real names).
And that all came to me on my lunch break while i was in the acoustic room at guitar center. I was just playing some songs that had to do with what i was thinking about...and it was powerful...
yeah i was crying in the acoustic room at guitar center, but by the grace of God, no one walked in on me lol
so that sunday i was practicing the songs and all was going well...so before service i was playing the song "tear down the walls" by Hillsong United because the lyrics were the message that i was trying to get across to people
when worship started i shared the message that God placed on my heart...i said
i know there are some people here that feel like they don't belong, and i know there are some people that feel like there not good enough to get to God...well i just want to let you know that that's not true...God accepts us for who we are. All the songs that God placed on my heart have to do with his love.
the list was
Your love is extravagant
Amazed
Lead Me to the Cross
Wrap Me in Your Arms
and i got to Wrap Me in Your Arms....and God was telling me to say something to the people....
now those of you who have read my testimony know that this song is kind of sentimental in a way because this song is the song that i got saved to.
the lyrics
"there is a God who loves me
who wraps me in His arms
that is the place where i'm changed
and that's where i belong"
reminded me of my salvation, my testimony, where i was before christ...i remembered feeling rejected, broken and lost...i remembered my sin with drugs, my struggles with suicidal thoughts, my shame ...i remembered the story of the prodigal son...."while he was still A LONG WAYS OFF" i remembered that i didn't meet Jesus half-way....i couldn't make it half-way....i remembered what God said to me
"son i love you, i will always love you,i will love you when no one else loves you...I will love you, even when you don't love yourself"
and the night was awesome, people were getting into worship and it was amazing
and i remember at the end of the last song we sang "for you are holy"...and there was a high note that i couldn't hit with my voice, so when we got to that point i just stopped singing...
...and it was absolutely beautiful...i heard the people singing, connecting with God, worshiping God...and i broke down..cause that was the one thing i really wanted...to see people being changed by God's unconditional love...
wow and there is alot more so umm...i guess tune in next time...cause i didn't expect this one to be so long lol..
alrighty so
this one is just gunna be a little update, cause sometimes i look at blogs like photo albums...it's always cool to look back and see how ignorant, naive, selfish, stupid, prideful, and childish i was.
and that's cool because it helps me realize that there is always room for improvement, no matter who you are
and hopefully when i read this a year from now i will realize how ignorant, naive, selfish, stupid, prideful, and childish i really am.
ok so recap a couple weeks ago... in youth we had an acoustic worship service led by the Holy Spirit...but lets go back a week
alot was bothering me that past week, and when i say alot...i mean alot of people...i was thinking in my head "well so-and-so did this-and-that and that just caused a bunch of problems for what's-his-face" and i was getting so mad at so-and-so and so i prayed to God and God showed me something very important...
"Don't focus on the criminal, focus on the victim."
and basically this means i need to focus more on 'what's-his-face' than on 'so-and-so'..(i know it's kinda confusing...but i'm obviously not going to use real names).
And that all came to me on my lunch break while i was in the acoustic room at guitar center. I was just playing some songs that had to do with what i was thinking about...and it was powerful...
yeah i was crying in the acoustic room at guitar center, but by the grace of God, no one walked in on me lol
so that sunday i was practicing the songs and all was going well...so before service i was playing the song "tear down the walls" by Hillsong United because the lyrics were the message that i was trying to get across to people
when worship started i shared the message that God placed on my heart...i said
i know there are some people here that feel like they don't belong, and i know there are some people that feel like there not good enough to get to God...well i just want to let you know that that's not true...God accepts us for who we are. All the songs that God placed on my heart have to do with his love.
the list was
Your love is extravagant
Amazed
Lead Me to the Cross
Wrap Me in Your Arms
and i got to Wrap Me in Your Arms....and God was telling me to say something to the people....
now those of you who have read my testimony know that this song is kind of sentimental in a way because this song is the song that i got saved to.
the lyrics
"there is a God who loves me
who wraps me in His arms
that is the place where i'm changed
and that's where i belong"
reminded me of my salvation, my testimony, where i was before christ...i remembered feeling rejected, broken and lost...i remembered my sin with drugs, my struggles with suicidal thoughts, my shame ...i remembered the story of the prodigal son...."while he was still A LONG WAYS OFF" i remembered that i didn't meet Jesus half-way....i couldn't make it half-way....i remembered what God said to me
"son i love you, i will always love you,i will love you when no one else loves you...I will love you, even when you don't love yourself"
and the night was awesome, people were getting into worship and it was amazing
and i remember at the end of the last song we sang "for you are holy"...and there was a high note that i couldn't hit with my voice, so when we got to that point i just stopped singing...
...and it was absolutely beautiful...i heard the people singing, connecting with God, worshiping God...and i broke down..cause that was the one thing i really wanted...to see people being changed by God's unconditional love...
wow and there is alot more so umm...i guess tune in next time...cause i didn't expect this one to be so long lol..
Saturday, June 13, 2009
you know what i've noticed
when i feel really small...it's helps to know that God is bigger than anything i'm facing....
...kinda like when a little kid runs to his dad because his dad knows everything
yeah...alot like that.
...kinda like when a little kid runs to his dad because his dad knows everything
yeah...alot like that.
Friday, June 12, 2009
You make it difficult (figure it out)
This is the lyrics to a song i wrote...hopefully i can record it and get it up soon...
it might be a little different
From the start, you shine beautifully
your running through my mind, constantly
still there is one question bugging me
is this....destiny
don't blame me
don't you see
i'm still trying to
figure things out
figure things out
figure things out
i'm just trying to
figure things out
figure this out
figure you out
cause you
make it difficult to sleep at night and
you
make it difficult to think about anything else
Michigan will always be the glove that holds my heart
even when we are miles apart
our paths only God can choose
with that in mind, we can't loose
don't blame me
don't you see
that i'm still trying to
figure things out
figure things out
figure things out
i'm just trying to
figure things out
figure it out
figure you out
cause you
make it difficult to sleep at night
and you
make it difficult to think about anything
you
make difficult for me to breathe
and you make it difficult to see anyone else for me
you are beautiful
you are wonderful
you make it difficult to see anyone else for me
you are beautiful
you are wonderful
you make it difficult to see anyone else for me
so wont you stay with me
don't blame me
don't you see
that i'm still trying to
figure things out
figure things out
figure things out
i'm just trying to
figure things out
figure it out
figure you out
cause you
make it difficult to sleep at night
and you
make it difficult to think about anything
you
make difficult for me to breathe
and you make it difficult to see anyone else for me
it might be a little different
From the start, you shine beautifully
your running through my mind, constantly
still there is one question bugging me
is this....destiny
don't blame me
don't you see
i'm still trying to
figure things out
figure things out
figure things out
i'm just trying to
figure things out
figure this out
figure you out
cause you
make it difficult to sleep at night and
you
make it difficult to think about anything else
Michigan will always be the glove that holds my heart
even when we are miles apart
our paths only God can choose
with that in mind, we can't loose
don't blame me
don't you see
that i'm still trying to
figure things out
figure things out
figure things out
i'm just trying to
figure things out
figure it out
figure you out
cause you
make it difficult to sleep at night
and you
make it difficult to think about anything
you
make difficult for me to breathe
and you make it difficult to see anyone else for me
you are beautiful
you are wonderful
you make it difficult to see anyone else for me
you are beautiful
you are wonderful
you make it difficult to see anyone else for me
so wont you stay with me
don't blame me
don't you see
that i'm still trying to
figure things out
figure things out
figure things out
i'm just trying to
figure things out
figure it out
figure you out
cause you
make it difficult to sleep at night
and you
make it difficult to think about anything
you
make difficult for me to breathe
and you make it difficult to see anyone else for me
Little Things
mmk so i said i was gunna do these more often but i forgot one thing
i'm lazier than an orthodox Jewish sloth on the sabbath (i made that up i swear)
but this isn't about the past so lets move on...
mmk so lately i've noticed alot of little things getting in the way of our connection with God... and i guess the thing that really got me thinking about this topic was the new Hillsong United CD
it has no Booklet....
and i'll confess...i was a bit disappointed...i thought maybe it was some 'pre-order special' and they didn't have enough time to whip up a booklet and what not until the final release. But i was wrong...the whole thing doesn't have a booklet
but it has a deep meaning to it...so it's justified
but i heard that there were alot of complaints and those complaints got the hamster in my brain moving and i started to think...and what really put me in my place was this thought
'IT'S A PRAISE AND WORSHIP CD'
since when does praise and worship need a 'booklet'....God isn't going to plug His ears because my p&w cd doesn't have a booklet....no....and it's not about lyrics either....the words that come out of my mouth mean nothing if my heart isn't right...
Worship is more than songs or words, it's all about attitude
(Rom 12:1-2)
"So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life--your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life--and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him." (msg)
that's right...i quoted the message....that brings me to little thing #2 that i've noticed
alot of ppl complain about what translation of the Bible someone uses....a very wise pastor said "the best translation is the one you can understand"....and i couldn't agree with him anymore
i look at CONTEXT....that is VERY important when it comes to reading the Bible...
John 3:16 can be quoted several different ways...i could post many different translations but it would mean absolutly nothing if there is no meaning behind the verse...i find that i have to ask myself what does this mean...
to me John 3:16 means this....
God loves me soooooo much that He gave His only BEGOTTEN son....begotten as in "so-and-so begot so-and-so"...this means that God gave His only legitimate, real son, those of us who are saved are adopted children to God...but not Jesus...Jesus was the real deal...he was GOD'S ONLY REAL SON....that's like a Father giving up his actual son for some poor homeless kid in some slum somewhere...
it's amazing to think i mean that much to God!! but really it would mean nothing if those were just words....
and i truly believe that the power isn't in the literal words of the Bible but it's in the context...it's in the deep meaning of the Word...if the power was in the actual words then we would all be reading the original manuscripts that were written in Greek, Hebrew, and Aramaic.
and adding a "th" to the end of every word doesn't make it more powerfull...lol...
now i believe that you can get more out of the KJV just because it has a wider vocabulary....where as the MSG is very blunt and straight to the point....but my point is that there is no 'perfect translation' in fact i read 3
1. MSG-I get the main points, i get the context, easy to understand and none of the fundamentals are hidden...everything is right there (i use the MSG as more of a guide to help me understand)
2.NIV- I like the NIV because i'm comfortable reading and understanding it and i can still dig deep in the Word and do some pretty sweet Bible studies.
3. KJV- KJV and Websters dictionary go together like peanut butter and jelly....there are alot of very SPECIFIC words in the KJV which throws me off quite a bit...but with the KJV's vast vocabulary you can dig so much deeper than in most other translations (however this is useless if i don't know what i'm digging into)
that's just my personal opinion (as of most of this blog i must confess)
and i guess #3 is just a Hodge-podge of things that just lead us away...
and i don't mean the real 'sinful' things like drugs or sex or anything like that...
as the title suggests i'm talking about 'little things' little things
things like our image in the eyes of others...for example...today i got my haircut...and i was deciding whether to get it cut or just trim the back and the sides and i was all worked up because i was scared that it wouldn't look right and that everyone would burn my house to the ground because my hair didn't look a certain way....but i realize that my hair as absolutely nothing to do with the kingdom of God...the length/style (or lack there of) of my hair isn't going to harm/help anyone's walk with God...so really...it doesn't matter...
also things like what you spend your time/money on like video games and such... but i think you get the idea....
so basically there are many pointless things that kinda slow my spiritual growth...but i really shouldn't worry about those things because like pastor said today "God is able".... God used prostitutes and murderers to do great things in His name....so i'm pretty sure God can use me....
so yeah this was kinda a rant/whatever...sorry that this one isn't as good as the last one
-God bless, JD
i'm lazier than an orthodox Jewish sloth on the sabbath (i made that up i swear)
but this isn't about the past so lets move on...
mmk so lately i've noticed alot of little things getting in the way of our connection with God... and i guess the thing that really got me thinking about this topic was the new Hillsong United CD
it has no Booklet....
and i'll confess...i was a bit disappointed...i thought maybe it was some 'pre-order special' and they didn't have enough time to whip up a booklet and what not until the final release. But i was wrong...the whole thing doesn't have a booklet
but it has a deep meaning to it...so it's justified
but i heard that there were alot of complaints and those complaints got the hamster in my brain moving and i started to think...and what really put me in my place was this thought
'IT'S A PRAISE AND WORSHIP CD'
since when does praise and worship need a 'booklet'....God isn't going to plug His ears because my p&w cd doesn't have a booklet....no....and it's not about lyrics either....the words that come out of my mouth mean nothing if my heart isn't right...
Worship is more than songs or words, it's all about attitude
(Rom 12:1-2)
"So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life--your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life--and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him." (msg)
that's right...i quoted the message....that brings me to little thing #2 that i've noticed
alot of ppl complain about what translation of the Bible someone uses....a very wise pastor said "the best translation is the one you can understand"....and i couldn't agree with him anymore
i look at CONTEXT....that is VERY important when it comes to reading the Bible...
John 3:16 can be quoted several different ways...i could post many different translations but it would mean absolutly nothing if there is no meaning behind the verse...i find that i have to ask myself what does this mean...
to me John 3:16 means this....
God loves me soooooo much that He gave His only BEGOTTEN son....begotten as in "so-and-so begot so-and-so"...this means that God gave His only legitimate, real son, those of us who are saved are adopted children to God...but not Jesus...Jesus was the real deal...he was GOD'S ONLY REAL SON....that's like a Father giving up his actual son for some poor homeless kid in some slum somewhere...
it's amazing to think i mean that much to God!! but really it would mean nothing if those were just words....
and i truly believe that the power isn't in the literal words of the Bible but it's in the context...it's in the deep meaning of the Word...if the power was in the actual words then we would all be reading the original manuscripts that were written in Greek, Hebrew, and Aramaic.
and adding a "th" to the end of every word doesn't make it more powerfull...lol...
now i believe that you can get more out of the KJV just because it has a wider vocabulary....where as the MSG is very blunt and straight to the point....but my point is that there is no 'perfect translation' in fact i read 3
1. MSG-I get the main points, i get the context, easy to understand and none of the fundamentals are hidden...everything is right there (i use the MSG as more of a guide to help me understand)
2.NIV- I like the NIV because i'm comfortable reading and understanding it and i can still dig deep in the Word and do some pretty sweet Bible studies.
3. KJV- KJV and Websters dictionary go together like peanut butter and jelly....there are alot of very SPECIFIC words in the KJV which throws me off quite a bit...but with the KJV's vast vocabulary you can dig so much deeper than in most other translations (however this is useless if i don't know what i'm digging into)
that's just my personal opinion (as of most of this blog i must confess)
and i guess #3 is just a Hodge-podge of things that just lead us away...
and i don't mean the real 'sinful' things like drugs or sex or anything like that...
as the title suggests i'm talking about 'little things' little things
things like our image in the eyes of others...for example...today i got my haircut...and i was deciding whether to get it cut or just trim the back and the sides and i was all worked up because i was scared that it wouldn't look right and that everyone would burn my house to the ground because my hair didn't look a certain way....but i realize that my hair as absolutely nothing to do with the kingdom of God...the length/style (or lack there of) of my hair isn't going to harm/help anyone's walk with God...so really...it doesn't matter...
also things like what you spend your time/money on like video games and such... but i think you get the idea....
so basically there are many pointless things that kinda slow my spiritual growth...but i really shouldn't worry about those things because like pastor said today "God is able".... God used prostitutes and murderers to do great things in His name....so i'm pretty sure God can use me....
so yeah this was kinda a rant/whatever...sorry that this one isn't as good as the last one
-God bless, JD
Finally
i know i said i was gunna post more but...i got lazy lol but that doesn't mean God is done teaching me...He's never done
witch is pretty cool but it's not the easiest thing in the world either
i guess this one isn't so much what' I've learned it's more of what just has been going on lately...
God has just been drilling into my head the fact that i need to trust Him in everything, EVERYTHING it's kind of like a trust fall into God's arms...
and it's harder than it sounds and it's been a test
and i learned that the tests of life aren't pass or fail...they shine a light on what's really inside
and I've learned just how spiritually immature i am...i used to think "oh spiritually I'm like...oh...19....just like physically and mentally" but i only thought that because i reasoned like a 19-year-old would but I've realized that i am more like a child...because lately things have not been going my way at all...and I've responded in a very childish way.
i feel like "I've been doing everything right" and i guess I've kinda been holding God to some man-made standard that says I'm entitled to some sort of physical reward...and like a toddler I've been throwing a temper tantrum so to speak because i feel that i haven't gotten "what i deserve"...and pastor said on Sunday that just because things aren't going right, doesn't mean i can go back to living like the world...
and I'll admit it...i have been slacking off in getting into worship, or my prayers have been lip service...and the life i chose to live, yeah the one that says that I'm supposed to be set apart...yeah I've set my self apart alright
but not from the right ppl...
but there is something that God has brought to my attention...there is a song by Hillsong United off their new CD, it's called 'You Hold Me Now' and that song talks about Heaven it says "no weeping, no hurt or pain, no suffering, you hold me now, you hold me now" and i think about what i have to look forward too...i have hope of a life like that
and that's something i can hold on to
i know that God has a plan...even though i can't see it...i know that God has all the answers even though He doesn't tell me them...and most importantly I know that God loves me even when my back is turned....
maybe next time i get mad at God because i "didn't get what i deserve" I'll just think about what i REALLY deserve...
and i guess I'm about done...but i hate to end on a statement that kinda puts me down lol
so I'll just say...I'm excited for what God is doing...through His church....and I'm glad to be part of it...and i know that one day...my only regret will be that i didn't do more...
witch is pretty cool but it's not the easiest thing in the world either
i guess this one isn't so much what' I've learned it's more of what just has been going on lately...
God has just been drilling into my head the fact that i need to trust Him in everything, EVERYTHING it's kind of like a trust fall into God's arms...
and it's harder than it sounds and it's been a test
and i learned that the tests of life aren't pass or fail...they shine a light on what's really inside
and I've learned just how spiritually immature i am...i used to think "oh spiritually I'm like...oh...19....just like physically and mentally" but i only thought that because i reasoned like a 19-year-old would but I've realized that i am more like a child...because lately things have not been going my way at all...and I've responded in a very childish way.
i feel like "I've been doing everything right" and i guess I've kinda been holding God to some man-made standard that says I'm entitled to some sort of physical reward...and like a toddler I've been throwing a temper tantrum so to speak because i feel that i haven't gotten "what i deserve"...and pastor said on Sunday that just because things aren't going right, doesn't mean i can go back to living like the world...
and I'll admit it...i have been slacking off in getting into worship, or my prayers have been lip service...and the life i chose to live, yeah the one that says that I'm supposed to be set apart...yeah I've set my self apart alright
but not from the right ppl...
but there is something that God has brought to my attention...there is a song by Hillsong United off their new CD, it's called 'You Hold Me Now' and that song talks about Heaven it says "no weeping, no hurt or pain, no suffering, you hold me now, you hold me now" and i think about what i have to look forward too...i have hope of a life like that
and that's something i can hold on to
i know that God has a plan...even though i can't see it...i know that God has all the answers even though He doesn't tell me them...and most importantly I know that God loves me even when my back is turned....
maybe next time i get mad at God because i "didn't get what i deserve" I'll just think about what i REALLY deserve...
and i guess I'm about done...but i hate to end on a statement that kinda puts me down lol
so I'll just say...I'm excited for what God is doing...through His church....and I'm glad to be part of it...and i know that one day...my only regret will be that i didn't do more...
ummmmm K?
yeah so umm... i think i might blog more idk yet though...
but if i do i want to blog about the things that God has been teaching me...cause it's so amazing and i can't hold it in any longer...
but that's because no one can contain God's awesomeness
ok but lately God's been keeping my focus on 2 things
1. relationships
2. evangelism
i would have to say i struggle the most in those two areas...so God is turning weakness into strength...
before i go on i'm going to give a disclaimer...i'm not trying to tell anyone what's right or what's wrong...i'm just sharing what God has revealed to me...and i'm just typing what comes to mind (and heart)
ok so as far as relationships go the #1 thing that God is drilling into my head is that
Christ = Husband and Church = Wife
Eph 5:23- "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior."
all of the suddon the entire Bible becomes a perfect Dating Guide lol
but seriously now there is a perfect example of what i'm supposed to do...and it's as simple as WWJD...but there is alittle more than that...it's What Would Jesus Do...for His church...
or what did he do...
he was willing to die for his church....
God brought to my mind a couple things...today in church i thought about Jesus carrying that cross up to Calvary...and it reminded me of a man walking up the aisle to be with his wife on his wedding day...
and like the veil that is lifted from her face...the veil in the temple was torn so that God can be with us forever and ever...
and when Jesus said "It is finished" it was kinda like he was saying "I do"
kind of a weird way of looking at things i guess...but for me it really puts Gods unconditional love into perspective.
another thing was last night i read the whole book of lamentations and i was reading about how the author was crying out to God about everything that was happening in Jerusalem
it was pretty brutal...the Babylonian army had surrounded the city making it impossible for anyone to trade or go anywhere for anything outside of the city...women were eating their own children to survive...people were starving to death...(the saddest verse was Lamentations 2:12-"They say to their mothers, 'Where is bread and wine?' as they faint like wounded men in the streets of the city, as their lives ebb away in their mothers' arms." and the whole time the Babylonian army mocked the city and it's people
Now we know how much God poured His love on the Isrealite people, He brought them out of Egypt and He delivered them into the promised land...The Isrealite nation was pretty much God's wife
The whole book of Hosea he talks about how being the God of Isreal was like being married to a prostitute...it's true!
God told Hosea to marry a prostitute named Gomer (i know...what a name right)
well she left him and sold herself into slavery and so Hosea bought her back and God used that as an example of Himself and Israel
which leads me to my favorite verse in that book
Hosea 2:16 "In that day," declares the LORD "you will call me 'my husband': you will no longer call me 'my master.'
God was revealing to the people that He was going pay the price to get them back....
...ok so...back to Lamentations now (forgive me for jumping around) but as I was reading the horrible things that were going on in Jeruselem...God spoke to me and said "That was my wife"...
...i dropped my pen on my Bible and i just started to cry...I was just so heartbroken to see the people that God loved so much...go through so much pain and suffering...even to the point of eating their own children...because they had turned their backs on God...and how after everthing that they had done...God didn't completely forsake them...
He still made a way for salvation...He still carried the cross up to the hill like a man on his wedding day...He still went through with it...
man...do i have alot to learn...
...yeah so more soon...i'm still ready to explode lol...
but if i do i want to blog about the things that God has been teaching me...cause it's so amazing and i can't hold it in any longer...
but that's because no one can contain God's awesomeness
ok but lately God's been keeping my focus on 2 things
1. relationships
2. evangelism
i would have to say i struggle the most in those two areas...so God is turning weakness into strength...
before i go on i'm going to give a disclaimer...i'm not trying to tell anyone what's right or what's wrong...i'm just sharing what God has revealed to me...and i'm just typing what comes to mind (and heart)
ok so as far as relationships go the #1 thing that God is drilling into my head is that
Christ = Husband and Church = Wife
Eph 5:23- "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior."
all of the suddon the entire Bible becomes a perfect Dating Guide lol
but seriously now there is a perfect example of what i'm supposed to do...and it's as simple as WWJD...but there is alittle more than that...it's What Would Jesus Do...for His church...
or what did he do...
he was willing to die for his church....
God brought to my mind a couple things...today in church i thought about Jesus carrying that cross up to Calvary...and it reminded me of a man walking up the aisle to be with his wife on his wedding day...
and like the veil that is lifted from her face...the veil in the temple was torn so that God can be with us forever and ever...
and when Jesus said "It is finished" it was kinda like he was saying "I do"
kind of a weird way of looking at things i guess...but for me it really puts Gods unconditional love into perspective.
another thing was last night i read the whole book of lamentations and i was reading about how the author was crying out to God about everything that was happening in Jerusalem
it was pretty brutal...the Babylonian army had surrounded the city making it impossible for anyone to trade or go anywhere for anything outside of the city...women were eating their own children to survive...people were starving to death...(the saddest verse was Lamentations 2:12-"They say to their mothers, 'Where is bread and wine?' as they faint like wounded men in the streets of the city, as their lives ebb away in their mothers' arms." and the whole time the Babylonian army mocked the city and it's people
Now we know how much God poured His love on the Isrealite people, He brought them out of Egypt and He delivered them into the promised land...The Isrealite nation was pretty much God's wife
The whole book of Hosea he talks about how being the God of Isreal was like being married to a prostitute...it's true!
God told Hosea to marry a prostitute named Gomer (i know...what a name right)
well she left him and sold herself into slavery and so Hosea bought her back and God used that as an example of Himself and Israel
which leads me to my favorite verse in that book
Hosea 2:16 "In that day," declares the LORD "you will call me 'my husband': you will no longer call me 'my master.'
God was revealing to the people that He was going pay the price to get them back....
...ok so...back to Lamentations now (forgive me for jumping around) but as I was reading the horrible things that were going on in Jeruselem...God spoke to me and said "That was my wife"...
...i dropped my pen on my Bible and i just started to cry...I was just so heartbroken to see the people that God loved so much...go through so much pain and suffering...even to the point of eating their own children...because they had turned their backs on God...and how after everthing that they had done...God didn't completely forsake them...
He still made a way for salvation...He still carried the cross up to the hill like a man on his wedding day...He still went through with it...
man...do i have alot to learn...
...yeah so more soon...i'm still ready to explode lol...
I’m not done...and neither is my paper : P
mmk so I couldn't help but think about those God placed in my life
Danny- your my accountability partner dude, and you are pretty awesome, I know we don't talk like we used to but I'm still there for you and I know your still there for me...you might not know it but you've help my walk with God. To see you grow in Christ is amazing and to see your passion for God grow throughout your life is inspiring, don't give up on your parents either, you can do it....God is with you
Brandan- you have a big dome lol...but your pretty awesome just like your brother, you have alot of talent, God has blessed you and just keep using your gifts for God,
Gage- your a boss, your maturity and your skills with a guitar are inspiring....I know it might not look like it...but there are times when I really look up to you, and you write songs like no body's business,
Tim- I know you get frustrated when things don't go right...but you never let that frustration get a hold of you, even when I say I'm going to break every bone in your body when you play the drums while I try to tune my guitar....but I also think it's cool how you always offer rides to people...that's some true servitude right there
Erika- ok so I know you don't have a MySpace...so I'm gunna trust that either me, or Dan, or Amanda or someone will show you the next time they hang out with you, but you humiliate me....in a good way...you let me know that I'm not king of the world...cause it seems like everything I do you do better. but honestly your a great worship team leader...better than I could ever be...and I'm happy to say that you keep me humble...although it does kinda suck sometimes...lol
Amanda- you've taught me something that no one else could...that Asians are boss...lol but honestly you are one of the coolest people I know...you've made the worship team better, and I know your not a part of the youth anymore but you will always be part of the pack...fa sho
Kayla- I know you don't have a MySpace either...so it looks like it's prolly up to Amanda to show you and Erika this...but anywho you are cool because your favorite color is green just like mine...but on a more serious note I enjoy seeing you grow up in the church....and I mean spiritually grow up in the church...it's always cool to see people who have been raised right by their parents grow up to be Godly men and women,
Mr. and Mrs. Gutierrez- (*sigh* again no MySpace) you guys are awesome...you always open up your home to me and the Kellers lol...we eat all your food, we swim in your pool, we have good times at your house...but I think it's cool how you care about us like you care about your own children...you are really inspiring and you are a great example of a household who serves the Lord...
Tasha- yeah I know kinda unexpected but thanks for inviting me to FGT in the first place without you I wouldn't be typing this right now...and thanks for asking me to join the worship team all them years ago...I wasn't any good when I started...and I'm not all that great now...but you opened a door for God to move in my life...and that means alot
Darla- again unexpected...but thanks for talking to me about God after Battlecry 06 and again without you I wouldn't be typing this, you taught me alot about God when I didn't know much of who He was
Sarah (Jessie)- I know im always mean to you, but you really are cool, and you make me laugh and you're cool fer sher
Charley- you are cool and it's awesome to see how spiritually mature you are, and it's cool to see the fire of God burn in your life and to see your passion for Him.
Matt and Sarah- you guys are awesome youth leaders...you guys do alot for our group and we don't always give you enough credit. but thanks for all the servitude and thanks for putting up with us even though we can be jerks at times
Jesus- I know You are supposed to be first in everything I do...but I saved the best for last...thankyou God for bringing all of these people into my life they are truly the reason I believe today...because through them I see you, I see your character, I see your people moving, I see your people doing your work in love, I see people who are changed by your touch, I know I'm not anyone who is amazingly special or anything...but sometimes I feel that way when I'm with these people..Thankyou for showing me that God doesn't live at the alter of a church building, but in the hearts of His people, and that is what makes you real, it's what separates religion from relationship.
anyone who I didn't' mention...don't feel offended...I love you too...
Procrastination
mmk so it's been like over a year since my last blog but i have a 5 page sociology paper due tomorrow so i'm procrastinating but in the mean time i'm going to give you a little insight into mylife
so i'm sure most if not all of you have read my blog called [TEST]imony and how it talks about my changed life....and oh man....changed it is....
looking back i see more and more how blind and lost i was but i can stand here and proclaim that the last 3 years have been the best that i've ever had...and yeah i've had ups and downs but God has always been there for me
i'm not saying this to tell you i'm better than you or that i'm perfect casue i'm not...i'm telling you because i know what it's like to be lost but now found. i know what' it's like to feel like no one cares...and i can honestly say that the grass is greener on the other side...
God cares for us more than we know...so much that He gave his life...on Saturday i had the opportunity to go to a youth event at metro south and i originally didnt' want to go but God obviosly wanted me to go...i learned about how we tend to give things that are free less value...and about how God's free gift of salvation tends to be taken advantage of...
but the truth is that his salvation is more valueable that anything else...i speak this from experience
Christianity isn't my lable...it's my life...it's not what i do...it's who i am...it's not rules and regulations it's hope...it's not religion it's relationship...it's not judgement it's grace...it's not uncool...it's love
love that i can't find anywhere else...not drugs...not sex....not money...not anything this world has to offer....
when i came to christ so much changed since that day at BattleCry...i just asked to be loved by God...i never asked for freinds...i never asked to be looked up to ...i never asked to be a leader....i never asked to be a friend....i never asked to be a man...
i was the kid who cried himself to sleep wishing he was somebody else...and i serve a God who gave me that wish
and the beauty of all of this is that God didn't meet me halfway...cause i couldn't make it halfway....God met me where i was...
God is still moving through my life and my prayer is that you read the other blog and then this one and see that God has the power to change lives
and just one more thing....God is faithfull when He said "I will love you when no one else will love you, I will love you even when you don't love yourself"...He really ment it ...and i mean He REALLY ment it...honestly God's love has blown me away...
honestly i can say that i still....to this very day...3 years later...that i still want the cross...and i want it more and more each day...God will increase and i will decrease...my life is for His glory
this might be crazy to some of you...this might seem strange...but take it from someone whose been there...this life is better than any other...guarenteed
and what more to say than "God is Love"
so i'm sure most if not all of you have read my blog called [TEST]imony and how it talks about my changed life....and oh man....changed it is....
looking back i see more and more how blind and lost i was but i can stand here and proclaim that the last 3 years have been the best that i've ever had...and yeah i've had ups and downs but God has always been there for me
i'm not saying this to tell you i'm better than you or that i'm perfect casue i'm not...i'm telling you because i know what it's like to be lost but now found. i know what' it's like to feel like no one cares...and i can honestly say that the grass is greener on the other side...
God cares for us more than we know...so much that He gave his life...on Saturday i had the opportunity to go to a youth event at metro south and i originally didnt' want to go but God obviosly wanted me to go...i learned about how we tend to give things that are free less value...and about how God's free gift of salvation tends to be taken advantage of...
but the truth is that his salvation is more valueable that anything else...i speak this from experience
Christianity isn't my lable...it's my life...it's not what i do...it's who i am...it's not rules and regulations it's hope...it's not religion it's relationship...it's not judgement it's grace...it's not uncool...it's love
love that i can't find anywhere else...not drugs...not sex....not money...not anything this world has to offer....
when i came to christ so much changed since that day at BattleCry...i just asked to be loved by God...i never asked for freinds...i never asked to be looked up to ...i never asked to be a leader....i never asked to be a friend....i never asked to be a man...
i was the kid who cried himself to sleep wishing he was somebody else...and i serve a God who gave me that wish
and the beauty of all of this is that God didn't meet me halfway...cause i couldn't make it halfway....God met me where i was...
God is still moving through my life and my prayer is that you read the other blog and then this one and see that God has the power to change lives
and just one more thing....God is faithfull when He said "I will love you when no one else will love you, I will love you even when you don't love yourself"...He really ment it ...and i mean He REALLY ment it...honestly God's love has blown me away...
honestly i can say that i still....to this very day...3 years later...that i still want the cross...and i want it more and more each day...God will increase and i will decrease...my life is for His glory
this might be crazy to some of you...this might seem strange...but take it from someone whose been there...this life is better than any other...guarenteed
and what more to say than "God is Love"
TESTimony
I guess i never really fit in before...but that was only part of the reason...the majority is that i just felt...empty...like there was something i was missing...i hated going to school every day thinking that everyone was staring at me and laughing on the inside...i felt as if no one cared....i hated myself...i hated the fact that i was a pervert...i hated the fact that i couldn't stop staring at the pictures on my computer screen...i was addicted and i couldn't control myself and it was just killing me inside and all the fault was my own...
so one night a 'friend' of mine came over...he told me that there was this thing called 'tin'...it was tobacco and fiber glass...the glass would cut your mouth open and the tobacco would go in your blood...'it just gives you a little buzz, it's not even addictive' that's what he told me...and that was a lie...after that night...i was lost....i was trapped...there was no way i could fight anything now...although the tin made me feel better for a while...i couldn't...stop...anything anymore...
i told myself that i wouldn't ever by my own stuff...that it was just one time....but i was wrong...so i walked up to the gas station...bought 'green grizzly'...it was horrible taste...but the buzz...that felt so good...i felt like i wanted to puke every time...time after time again i hid in my crawlspace and it was there...where i sold my soul for something so useless as tobacco and fiberglass...listening to slow music...i thought this would make me feel soo much better...but it didn't...i just hated myself even more...i thought so much about cutting my wrists...'mabey that would make me feel better' that's what i thought. i never got there...but i do remember bringing scissors up to my room...just in case...
last sunday we learned about samson...he learned when it was almost too late...that's about how i was... i tried to come back...i tried to be one of the 3 people in my school who lifted their hands during chaple...but that didn't work...'God is just to far' is what i thought...i couldn't do anything...
but then...the hope...Battlecry....
the week before when i was seeking and nothing was happening actually helped...i was so open and sensitive at that point...i remember almost crying after the first 5 minuets...it wasn't until the end of the first day...when then words "i want the cross" stumbled out of my mouth...that was when i was done looking like i loved God...that was the first time in a long time that i actually meant it...
so i went up to that alter...and i started conversation with..."there is a God who loves me, who wraps me in His arms"...and He said.."I love you son"...i never cried so much in my life...
He said..."I love you no matter what, I know you don't like yourself, I know you don't want life anymore, I know your heart and I hear your cry...I love you son and I want you to come home"...i prayed for freedom..i prayed for hope...i prayed for life...i prayed for justification...and i got all of those...
the next couple weeks was hard...i put on the paper of things that we wanted to throw away that i wanted to get rid of drugs...my drug...
and of course God listened...He helped me with everything...He helped me...let go...i let go of my adictions, my drug, my habit of looking at pornography, my lust...now i'm far from those things...
and now...i am a true man..i have a testimony...
Now He has brought me someone that cares about me...someone...that i've never lusted after...someone that i can talk to ...some one that i can care about...that someone i feel is something that God has given to me...something that He is trusting me with...
and God you have given me so much more than i asked for...i just wanted to die...i never intended you to show me mercy, i never asked for you to love me...just forgive me and let me die, i never asked for Darla, God...you just gave...because you love...and i've told you, over and over, 'God i'm in this for good, i'm not backing down...no matter what....i'll love you no matter what...because you've loved me...you brought me to me knees...you broke me, Lord...you changed me to be more like you...that's something they can't take away from me...it's that testimony'
God thank you...thank you for everything...thank you for changing me to be 'the perfect guy'...God there is no one too far from your saving grace...your blood covers everything...now the only thing i ask for is the strength to share my testimony...right now...this live journal is just the beginning i promise God....
i've never loved life so much un till now...
God is love...
Alright...let's get the pawty stah-ted
mmk...so myspace is making me mad...actually the people on myspace are making me mad...
bulletin must be foreign for drama....so i'm seriously considering getting rid of my myspace....cause i've almost had it...so for now on my blogs are going to be www.jdwayt.blogger.com
i'll prolly keep myspace but i want to have an alternative just in case...
plus now i dont have to copy things to myspace, facebook, and so on...i can just link it to one place...
bulletin must be foreign for drama....so i'm seriously considering getting rid of my myspace....cause i've almost had it...so for now on my blogs are going to be www.jdwayt.blogger.com
i'll prolly keep myspace but i want to have an alternative just in case...
plus now i dont have to copy things to myspace, facebook, and so on...i can just link it to one place...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
